SPAMMING GAMES - King of the hill

/me waves at LW from my hill, tis nice

Kaiser Soze wrote:

/me waves at LW from my hill, tis nice

Whilst waving, you topple and fall off the hill.

my hill.

During my convalescence I wisely invest my state benefits in a new and unheard of chain of shoe shops.

By the time of my discharge they are the 'in' thing and I open a branch at the foot of the hill.

Someone can't resist a peek, and is now locked inside, showered with Scholl, mwahuahuaha.

A short stroll to the top ... .. .

My Hill

After playing with shoes for an age, I take a boot to smash the window and escape.

A well aimed bright red patent stilletto to the back of Kaisers head takes him out.

I adorn the glorious red shoes to tippy toe to the top of My Hill.

hmmm ... .. .

that does indeed seem like a glorious conquer, however show me a woman that can tippy toe up a hill in stilletto's in one piece and I'll show you a man that doesn't watch any form of sport on TV

you are going to need some serious sticking plaster attention at the top of that hill, luckily my shoe franchise paid off so handsomely, I was corporately able to exercise a degree of lateral integration and snap up the local chemist

your newly acquired sticking plasters are laced with 'sleepy time' stuff, after a few minutes of skin contact, you drift off with a smile on your face

safe to say you awake somewhere far away, locked in a room full of recovering train spotters, who need their anorak elbow patches constantly restitched

by now, sitting up groggily, I blink, yup, I'm still here, the view is grand, and its ... .. .

my hill

(I thank you)

After a long mission in to enemy territory i'm home.

And what do i see? A hill who is not defended.

I climb on top and declare it MY HILL

:p tomorrow after the nightmare that is UK digital retuning it shall be mine, enjoy

while you can

On the assumption that you are both men, your refusal to ask for directions means that you are, and always have been, on the wrong hill.

So, here I sit, buffing....my shoes.

On My Hill.

hmmm

it rains, your hair frizzes up, you adjourn to a 'stylist'

there's a vacant space

I stroll up

My Hill

Kaiser, Kaiser, Kaiser.

You men are just tooooo funny.

You think I go to a stylist? Duh? He comes to me.

The hill was not vacant, get off.

My Hill.

lol

oh ... so ... lol

(dramatic spaces intended)

if it is truly your hill, why then does it have my name stamped underneath?

intrigued you attempt to lift the hill to check for my 'brand', sadly you break a nail, this is beyond a home visit situation, you have to go and seek intensive cuticle care

hullo from ... .. .

My Hill

(once again I thank you, you've tidied up a treat)

If you could do some decorating that would be grand. Let me know when it's done.

now see, that would need a quotation done first, preceded by an estimate, accompanied by a meticulous site visit, however ... .. .

on (did I mention it's) my hill ... .. .

I'm happy to mow the lawn

so help me, I love the smell of cuttings in the morning ... .. . on

my hill

Oh, Kaiser, please can you fit a new kitchen.

Thank you.

*scratches back of head, sharp intake of breath*

'Well see, it's a question of getting the right parts, this close to the weekend an' all'

'It'll probably cost a bit ... .. .'

Being the social kind of Kitten that I am, I decide to visit the hill.

*Oh, nice new kitchen and laminate floor.*

It appears KS is asleep, so I roll him off down the hill to land in the stream in the valley.

I arrange the flowers, in the vase, that sits on top of My Hill.

Unfortunately Ikebana was not your forte, you slipped and the broken vase tore a 1 inch gash in your femoral artery. I call 911 and while they cart you off I claim the hill and the home.

As she sits on her hill i sneak in and eat all her ben-N-jerries ice cream knowing full well that a woman cant sit in one spot too long with out it. i lay and wait for hanibal to go to the store to get more, change the locks to the doors and take my place in the chair on the hill.

I use the new secret weapon ~ NERF Ice Blaster 9000, I fire a few rounds thru the window and POW you're laid low! Frozen by Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia!. I enter my abode and slide you out the door. Poor, Poor SirH....at least the neighborhood dogs will lick you free

My home, My Hill

physically drained from all the licking and laping (thanks for shooting me in the balls). i crawl my way up the hill to sleep in the bushes....i awake weeks later only to see you still gorging yourself on the ice cream. stunned i sit and watch in awe. suddenly you pass out from the ice cream headache you have just received from not even tasteing the half gallon of choc chip cookie dough. Thinking this is my chance to push you out of the chair i hastely rush over only to find the chair firmly embedded in rolls of fat covered in dried ice cream. Obviously there is now way im prying that fat ass out of the chair.......siitng down in front of a stump in total defeat i feel something hard in the grass. Its an AXE! picking it up i lazely swing it towards on of the legs of the chair. The leg being, under severe strain, splinters into a thousand pieces....Quiickly before the other legs explode.... i rush around and give a little push on the opposit side. I happily watch you roll down the hill (looking much like the michilin man) into the lake below where you receive the beginings of a long over due bath. as i craft a fine chair out of the empty icecream containers i cant help but think....they named a flavor after Jerry Garcia....I wonder if they would you too....C.H. Butter ball perhaps?

My dear, I was aiming for your head...I did not realise you were That short. You also need new spectacles since the person you judged and rolled so ruthlessly and cruelly down the hill was your mother-in-law. I believe she is looking for you now , and oh...the wife is a tad unhappy w/you too...she mentioned something about you never seeing the marital bed till a far and future date (sorry, but by then I was Just ROFLMAO at Your predicament so I missed the exact time)

I'm still happily ensconced in the home on the hill And the new chair could use a coat of varnish...

*knocks on door*

ACME varnish-o-matic at your service ma'am

H O W E V E R ... .. .

Using stealth ninja varnish liberally enchanced with chloroform (<== Soze made a funny) the fumes render you senseless in seconds, you awake far away still delirious and in an alternate cyber world endlessly playing minesweeper, safe to say if you ever get out, you'll be a gibbering wreck.

My Hill!

mwuahuahua

mwuahuahuamwuhahaha

*giggles manically*

ahh yes...the old Varnish salesman at the door trick...learned that early in my secret agent anti-ninja skills class. So expecting the attack...I dodged and evaded using "Sim-Me-Droid" by Acme sales
I also had a nano-mind control -widget shot into your butt while you were hefting my double out the door! Soon you will be connected to that 'droid...playing minesweeper!! ENJOY.

My Hill
My Varnish (looks quite nice, thank you very much)

You see, I have no ninja skills whatsoever, but I do have a talent for baking.

Delivering a halloween pumpkin pie to c.hanibal in my finest red stillettos I dupe him into eating a rather large slice of pie, beguiling him with my charms.

The pie is laced with tranquillisers. He sleeps. Off he rolls, down.....

My Hill.